Sometimes I feel like I am running out of time.
All of the things I have planned for myself…I wish I could snap my fingers and have it right at this moment. All at once. No matter how overwhelming it might be. The expectations I have for myself are so high and I work towards my goals each day. Last year around this time I asked God to make me a more patient woman. I knew then that I had to understand that things take time but that still did not stop that feeling from showing up. I felt like I was not moving fast enough.
But now I understand that a seed must be planted and it takes a little while for the flower to take life and then finally bloom.
So in the process of learning to have patience, I began to appreciate each moment, instead of rushing through it. Every little thing in my life I focus on it. I feel it deeply. I let it touch me like never before. I appreciate it all. It is all a part of my growth process. It is all making me the woman that I am striving to become. Full of depth and life.
If I speed through life trying to mark things off of my list, am I really living?Why am am I racing? Who is in the race with me? Who determined the time limit for the race? F*%k the race. I decide if I run, jog, walk or stand still. Sometimes I just long to stand still. I decide. No race needed.
I move towards my goals each day. But I no longer focus on where I believe I should be…compared to what society tells me. I won’t let time haunt me in that way anymore. I am here. I am living and most importantly I am thriving. It feels good. It looks good on me AND I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
Peace. Love. Hopee