You were bittersweet to me. I faced a large amount of growth and many setbacks. The best of both worlds I would say. Hard laughs and painful tears. The beginning of the year started with me living in the Bronx, New York. I brought in the New Year on the subway train in tears. It’s funny how sadness creeps up on me.
New York was amazing to me though. It is always a struggle living outside of your comfort zone and moving to a large city with just yourself. Theses courageous situations will send tears your way at some point in time. But don’t misunderstand it…New York was amazing to me. I loved it. And I will return again. January 2016 I declared that I would live my best life (thanks Asia: @asiavtashay ;-). I have always been outgoing but I knew I could be a tad bit crazier. And that was what I was reaching for. A “Y.O.L.O” life. (Y.O.L.O= you only live once). Safe to say…mission accomplished. I twerked in many countries in 2016. I took my first drink for my birthday. I went to Jupiter a few times, wore string bikinis and threw bands at strip clubs. The highlights of the year were amazing.
February I decided to move back to Detroit. My little sister was coming of age and she would be a teenager soon. I felt that my presence and influence was needed in the city. So I packed my bags and moved home.
Throughout the entire year…I took the leap off of the cliff in more ways than one and I experienced things I never had before. I am thankful for 2016. Despite every hardship, tear, and seemed to be failure…I moved forward with my dreams. I made amazing friendships and the many tears spilled were long forgotten the morning after.
Somethings in 2016 I wish I could desperately change. But that is the humbling part…
We are placed in this world with no control over what happens to us. But what we take from each event is how we allow those things to mold us for the better…that part is completely in our hands. 2016 started off crazy and full of excitement. Interestingly the year ended in tears…just as it had begun. But I will tell you this…I am thankful for 2016. And I have grown from everything that took place. I learned a lot about myself and even more so about the people around me. I gained amazing friends and crossed paths with people who will never know they left the largest impact on me. I lost friends. Best friends. Almost lost someone so close to me because of a suicide attempt. I let go of people I never thought I would. I became more protective of my personal space and energy. I lost friends…by choice and through death. Another humbling reminder that life happens…without your hand having any control.
I learned to be okay with not having control over anything but my world. I worked hard on the relationships around me. To call me a friend was something I wanted others to be proud of. So I focused on talking less and listening more. I focused on being present.
I developed a deeper relationship with self. My happiness came first. I found on the deepest level, understanding of how I felt, how I loved and how I wanted for things..why I wanted for things and what alternative ways I needed to communicate with myself. I developed boundaries that I would not dare let anyone cross…even myself. I put myself and my peace of mind on the highest pedestal. I focused on loving. I have always been tough. I have always been that girl who never really needed anyone else. You could always count on me to be well taken care of by myself. But at some point during 2016 I began focusing on being more gentle with myself. I allowed love in. I allowed help in. I took down a few walls. I am still working on this but in 2016 I made strides.
2016, I would not be telling the truth if I said that you were not good to me. You were. You showed me so much and I promise you, I took it all in and I listened. This farewell remains bitter sweet. But you were worth every adventure and every tear and every obstacle.
I am now a different woman than I was before.
Thank you…and farewell…